Trilingual Routine 重復

I just got the result of TEM8,and I passed it.

Unlike Lao Huang,I was much less ecstatic to get the result.He called me to annouce the great news,so I automatically sent him my congrats.

I wasn’t even sure if I was happy or not. I wanted to share it with friends.I went for V,she was busy;then Lao Q?he didn’t pass.Would my sharing be a kind of showing off?Of course,I knew exactly how he was gonna react—I don’t care,that’s what he sounds when he fails. Trying not to be too dramatic,but honestly I can feel how much he felt frustrated,cos we had prepared for it together and exchanged revision experience and even cursed the testpaper maker together(I take them all back now,forgive me,pls).So I offered to invite him for dinner to make up for his loss assumed by me ,that’s when he told me he was going on a business trip,and he was probably going to Hongkong to develop his career if the bussiness runs well.Not only should you have the right intention,but also the right timing.

It was not before then that I realized ,or should I say, I got an tiny idea of what true hapiness is all about.It’s sharing, and feeling grateful for what you’ve already got.When happiness is not shared,there wouldn’t be happiness.

Fortunately, my dearest parents were there for me despite it all. They were climbing up moutains in Jiuzhaigou,when they called to congratulate me. Thank god, i’m not all by myself on this lonely planet. I’d been stupid enough to imagine the freedom I’d get without them.That freedom would be bitter and hollow.

Having constantly been on the go in recent years,I begin to think about settling down,building up a family and stuff.Lots of questions need anwsers.Where’s my home?where do I belong?

……

24 years ago,on Feb 5th,an angel was born.

I don’t know why exactly I’m writing this.It sounds really cheesy.But God knows I’m so short of words.And this is the only thing I can give you right now.

All simply,I wanna thank you

For still having faith in me when I see myself as a monster

For saying ”We’ll plan things out” even if you don’t really mean it

For coming all the way to see me when everyone is for themselves

And yet, I wanna apologize

For not being able to live up to your expectations

For not having hugged you and lent you my shoulder while watching tears rolling down your cheeks

For not keeping the ten thousand promises we used to share

Last and the most,I wanna wish you happy birthday

Now again, I can’t come up with the best words

How can I tell you that you mean the world to me?

2009年1月2日

If you're having trouble finding clarity on what to focus on in the coming year, here are some ideas.

* Instead of wanting to be right, be kind.

* Instead of focusing on what you did wrong or what is worth being upset about, focus on all that is right.
* Instead of looking at what has changed, look at what hasn't changed.

* Instead of coming to the end of another day and being obsessed with what went wrong, find what you can be grateful for.
* Instead of feeling out of control, find ways to trust more.
* Instead of saying mean things to yourself, choose to take control of that inner voice and create a loving inner dialogue.
* Instead of letting an excuse rule your life, make 2009 the year that you step into your power and see how limiting that excuse has been.
* Instead of comparing yourself to someone else and making yourself feel small, ask yourself: Am I better than my 2008 self?

Anyone of these commitments will radically alter 2009 for you for the better. Choose one from the list above and commit to it fully. Then when you're ready, add another. In times of intense change, transition and crises, our dominant emotions come out even more strongly. You need to take control of what you are focusing on, especially when the media, pessimistic people and everything else in your life are constantly challenging your attention. This year, you will choose what to focus on. Remember, you will get more of what you focus on. You will attract that which you give your attention and energy to. Put out the energy you want more of.

Here is a comment from Feist(the singer of “1 2 3 4”) on concertgoers snapping photos instead of focusing on the performance,which I feel is speaking directly to me when it comes to the “side-effect”of the avancement of modern technology.

“Everyone has this archiving addiction now. It’s  like  they’re  trying to pin a butterfly to a corkboard”

“To me,a gig  isn’t  supposed to be for posterity. It’s  supposed to be a bunch of people tossed together in a room,making a mood,and then it’s over.You  can’t  see the world through a viewfinder.”

And now I love her even more!

I thought I was gonna put an end to it,yet it's just another beginning.

Life is a circle from which you can never escape.

I Give In, please don't torture me anymore...

"I'm as crazy as clown tonight
a clown without a crown tonight
a simple sack of wishes and bones.
I'm as useless as a memory
the day before it came to me
to save your time stitches and stones
But once in my life I was the king of the earth
once in my life,
I was.
I've flown horses on the skies above
that aint enough for you my love
to fill these empty castles with ghosts
I've married devils to their history
sood where you would bury me
through a time of statues and rows
But once in my life I was the king of the Earth
Once in my life
I was.
now that the stars have frozen in their places
all that I've hold seems gone
now that the stars have fallen from their faces
I will see you on
I'll never be your picture present
but I hope you go the rose I sent
to save your town of stitches and bones
I'm nothing more than a simple man
born to be american
out to draw these bridges and motes
but once in my life I was the kind of the Earth
Once in my life..."